Bad News...

So all week my dad had appointments at M.D. Anderson so they could run tests and do CT scans just to see how the Sutent (chemo) was working. Today he went back down there to see his doctor and get the results of all the tests... Bad news... The treatment didnt work at all. His tumor is growing.

So, the doctor decided to put him on another form of medication, which he picks up tomorrow. This medication is brand new, it was just released March 30 of this year. I am having doubts about that... I dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. Its only been out a few months... how do they know it works at all?!

The clock is ticking and I'm flipping out... PLEASE... EVERYONE pray for my daddy. Not for me, not for my family... for my dad specifically! He is the one that it ill. In the mean time... I am going to continue waking up everyday and reminding myself to put one foot in front of the other. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do... I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemies.

I'll post later... Keep reading... and as always... God Bless!

So daddy is feeling better these days. He's off chemo for 2 weeks and is starting to regain his strength! His most hated side effect from the chemo was the way all his food tasted! He said everything either tasted like metal or salt! *gag* But now his taste buds are coming back... slowly, and he was able to eat a FULL meal this morning! Mom and I were very proud of him! Ya know... it's so weird for me to see my dad, my hero, my role model... in this condition. He is the strongest man I know and I have to just sit back and watch him suffer... I wish so much that there was something i could do to take this all away from him. He didn't deserve any of this... but then again God has a plan for everything. So we're taking everything in stride!

Yesterday, I watched as two of my very good friends got married! Congrats to Braxton and Sara Watson! She looked so beautiful and he was just as handsome as ever! The ceremony was wonderful and the reception was so much fun! It was like a SHS c/o 2004 reunion! haha It was so nice to hang out with those people again... As time goes on you seem to forget how your friends are like family! Congrats to all my friends that have gotten married and started their families! I'm sure I will be the last one out of the gate! haha

Anyways... today's fathers day so I'm going to take daddy to the movies! I will write more later! Keep reading... and God Bless!

Today is a good day!

*sigh* My amazing day started late last night with an INCREDIBLE phone conversation!!! (Its a secret for now...) But I was able to wake this morning with a smile on my face and for the first time in about a month... not have to remind myself to breathe! It just came so naturally... finally! Maybe on a later occasion I will share the reason that my heart is practically beating out of my chest... but for now... I'm keeping it to myself!

This morning daddy slept it... which is good, he needs his rest. Lately he hasn't really been eating as much because of all the side effects from his chemo... well this morning we went running around and we stopped for some breakfast... and HE ATE!!! I was so proud of him! He didnt like it, but I think he's starting to realize that inorder to keep his strength up he needs nutrients! So YAY daddy! Today was also his last day of chemo for TWO WEEKS! *sigh* We're so glad that his body gets to rest for a little while! He's exhausted and can't wait for a break! Although after the two weeks is over, he starts another 28 day chemo treatment, and after that... hopefully he'll get to have surgery to remove his right kidney and a piece of his liver that the cancer has infected. We can't wait for that happen! We are keeping hopes high and the prayers flowing!

ALSO, I got to see two of my best friends today! I havent seen them in about a year! Frankie and Lance! Y'all are the best! Thank you so much for coming to visit me and for taking me out to lunch!!! I miss you boys so much and now that I'm back in town will hopefully get to see you all the time!

So all in all... today was a great day! Ya know... you can't help but thank God for days like this. I have a whole renewed faith in Him... and I know that's what's keeping my head up! So I will write more later... But keep reading and God Bless! I love you all!

Hello All:

This is my first blog... so please be patient with me!

On May 7th I was told that my dad has Stage 4 Renal Cell Carcenoma.... the pieces of my stable "put together" life began to crumble. Two days after that I recieve a phone call telling me that one of my best friends, Maura de Souza, only had a few more days to live. She had been struggling with cancer for the past year and her poor kidneys just couldn't take it anymore. She entered the gates of Heaven on May 19th, 2009... my "stable" life was crumbling even faster. Even though I miss her everyday... I know she is with our Lord... in that I take comfort.

As for me... I made the decision to move home to help with taking care of my dad. He is taking chemo and is grows weaker everyday. He tries to make light of the whole situation and tells me "ya know the worst part of all this... all my damn food tastes the same! AND I cant drink beer anymore!" I wish I knew that kind of strength. He is taking this one day at a time and is a CHAMP about everything! I admire him so much... I love my daddy!

When I moved back I decided it was time for my relationship with Casey to end. Things were just not going the way they needed to... and it was the best for both of us!

I miss all my friends SO much! We became like a family and I left a piece of my heart with each one of them! To my arkansas family: I love you all very much and miss you everyday! I'll be home soon!!!

Well anyways... I'll keep posting updates on my life! Keep reading... my life is like a soap opera so you never know whats going to happen! Love you all and God Bless!